Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize