I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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