Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
