So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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