I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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