She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
