Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
