cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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