I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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