i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize