we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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