I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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