Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
