My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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