Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish my penis had a tongue
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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