hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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