i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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