oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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