I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
