Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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