I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
