I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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