Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
