She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
