I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
