I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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