Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have fence marks all over my body
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize