If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
