Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
