I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
