I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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