I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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