Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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