May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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