I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize