They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
