What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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