She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
