She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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