Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
