she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
