What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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