turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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