I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
