I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
