I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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