Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
