i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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