no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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