There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
