xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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