and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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