ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
