I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
