Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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