Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
