Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize