I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
