bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
