I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
