Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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