She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
