Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
