Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
