I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
