Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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