its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
