Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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