i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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