This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
