Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
