I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
