The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
worst night to have a conscience
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
