ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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