he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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