My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it because I queefed?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
