somebody snuck up and got me drunk
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize