I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
