Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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