Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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