Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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