i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
