is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
