If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have fence marks all over my body
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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