oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize