I puked a lego.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
