Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
