even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
