well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
