It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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