I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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